5 Valentine's Day Strategies for the "Romantically Challenged"
Of course, it's not true for all men all the time. But the findings show that men tend to fall in love easier than women, are more likely to believe in love at first sight, believe there's a perfect "soul mate" for them, and believe that when you're truly in love, passion never fades. Does this describe you? Maybe not, and that can make you dread the day set aside each year for romancing: Valentine's Day.
Male or female, if you feel romantically challenged this Valentine's Day, try these strategies:
Make it personal.
A simple handwritten note telling your partner why you'd still choose him/her if you had to do it all over again says "I love you" much better than a box of candy.
Make it "touching."
Saying "I love you" is nice. Kissing, holding, and cuddling is nicer. Even if you're not romantic, everyone needs and responds to the loving touch of a partner.
Fill a need.
If mushy romanticism isn't for you, think of something your partner really needs. Get his car detailed. Replace her tattered briefcase. Such thoughtfulness is a turn-on and shows you really care about your partner.
Spend some time.
Don't think of Valentine's Day as a commercial holiday created to sell chocolates and flowers. Think of it as a day to spend quality time with your loved one. It can be as elaborate as eating out at a nice restaurant, or as simple as snuggling up on the couch to watch a movie.
Talk it up.
Want to know the most romantic thing you can do this Valentine's Day? Have a 10-minute conversation with your partner about anything besides kids, work, money, or domestic responsibilities. My study found that the "10 Minute Rule," practiced daily, increases intimacy, bonding, and happiness.
About Terri Orbuch
Research professor Terri Orbuch PhD, known as The Love Doctor, is director of the longest-running study of married couples, ongoing since 1986 and funded by the NIH. A practicing marriage and relationship therapist for more than 20 years, she is a popular love advisor on radio, TV, and peoplemedia.com, most recently seen on NBC’s Today, and a popular blogger for Huffington Post and Psychology Today. Her forthcoming book is Finding Love Again: Six Simple Steps to a New and Happy Relationship (Sourcebooks, June 2012). You can find out more about her at www.drterrithelovedoctor.com.
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