Stilling Our Minds and Managing Our Emotional Reactiveness
If you are having difficulty releasing the juicy emotions that arise in response to what others do “to” you, reinterpreting what happened in a way that allows you to remain calm and centered, recreating your future with joy, peace of mind, and the stillness that comes from being non-reactive and reclaiming your self-esteem, it may be because you are keeping the old patterns of reacting to others in place.
The challenge lies in the addictive nature of our emotional reactions! We hate being angry, sad and scared. But, like a heroin addict who hates being hooked on drugs but can’t seem to pull that needle from his arm, so it is with our addictive emotional reactions. Our emotional moods keep us churning in the drama cycle we call life. Though we say we dislike them, they are familiar and comfortable like an old habit. They make us feel alive.
Our reactive moods also provide us with several contrary pleasures and ironic benefits. They make us right and make others wrong. They allow us to feel as though we are dominating others or avoiding being dominated. They often make us a victim of our circumstances. As a victim, our self-esteem suffers and we get to feel sorry for ourselves. Victims attract the pity and sympathy of others. It is often easier to wallow in self-pity rather than to take responsibility for making our lives work optimally. As we continue to suffer, our self-esteem dwindles further. Our lives seem full of things we don’t want and we want all the things we don’t have. We point to our low self-esteem in an effort to justify why our life is the way it is. It’s no wonder that we continue to suffer and feel badly about who we are!
But continuing to drown in self-pity without taking responsibility for reclaiming our self-esteem has profound costs. One of these costs is the peace of mind that can only come from learning to become non-reactive. The secret to choosing stillness and peace is to create interpretations that allow for these states to replace the addictive emotional responses that are sourced in anger, sadness, and fear for most people. Here in a nutshell and the steps to manifesting a peace-filled life:
1. Recognize your predominant emotional reactive state (it’s typically a version of anger, sadness, or fear.)
2. Release the emotion, counting backward from 5 to 1 while taking deep breaths.
3. Give up your right to the interpretation that “made” you angry, sad, or afraid.
4. Choose a new interpretation that keeps you in relationship with others and is free of any destructive emotional reactive state.
5. Focus on the blessings that this new interpretation contributes to your quality of life and peace of mind.
6. Practice the above in times of upset and know that as soon as you forget to do so, you will be back to the turmoil created by your reactive nature.
About Dr. Joe Rubino
Dr. Joe Rubino, CEO of Http://www.CenterForPersonalReinvention.com, is acknowledged as one of the world’s foremost experts on the topic of elevating self-esteem. He is a life-changing personal development and success coach on how to restore self-esteem, achieve business success, maximize joy and fulfillment in life and productivity. He is known for his groundbreaking work in personal and leadership development, building effective teams, enhancing listening and communication skills, life and business coaching and optimal life planning.
His 12 best-selling books and audio programs are available in 23 languages and in 58 countries and include:
• The Self-Esteem Book: The Ultimate Guide to Boost the Most Underrated Ingredient for Success and Happiness in Life. http://www.TheSelfEsteemBook.com
• The Success Code, Books I & II
• The Magic Lantern: A Fable about Leadership, Personal Excellence, and Empowerment
• The Legend of the Light-Bearers: A Fable about Personal Reinvention and Global Transformation
* The Seven Blessings: A Fable about the Secrets to Living Your Best Life
* 31 Ways to Champion Children to Develop High Self-Esteem
Dr. Joe offers powerful personal and group coaching to support business success and life fulfillment. To contact him, call 888-821-3135 or email DrJoe@CenterForPersonalReinvention.com.
Learn more about his life-changing work in championing people to restore their self-esteem at http://www.SelfEsteemSystem.com and receive FREE the insightful audio program “7 Steps to Soaring Self-Esteem” and a 1 year subscription to “The Success Achievers’ Club”…a $129 Value!
Learn how you can become Certified by The Center for Personal Reinvention as a Self-Esteem Coach for Children at www.highselfesteemkids.com
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