Heal Your Energy, Heal Your Life! Here's How
BOYT: Tell us what your inspiration was, or how you reached a place to write such a revealing book as Truth Heals.
Deborah King: The reason I decided to write a book was I'd been out on the road for a year holding public events and working with the public; and it dawned on me after a year, I was really tired. It was a long tour, I went to 100 cities, and I thought "My God, if I wrote a book, I could reach a lot more people more easily." So that was my motivation. The reason that it was so revealing was that I had already written a memoir and I had it in a desk drawer – I'd written it twenty years before, really more as a cathartic exercise, you know, journaling. When I started to write a book, I found my memoir actually worked very nicely into it and became part of it.
BOYT: Even with some of the writing that I do, I feel like I've revealed so much of myself, and your book was so revealing. Was it difficult for you to get to a point to write such a book?
Deborah King: No, not at all, it wasn't difficult. I'm working with people, I'm always urging them to get their stuff out – it's the things we store that are the most damaging. What I found is, the lies we tell ourselves do the most damage, and if people could just level with themselves about their own experiences, just acknowledge and honor their own feelings. If you feel jealous, just admit it; if you can't deal with your mother, just admit it. I urge people to journal, and essentially, that's what I was doing years before I wrote Truth Heals, and I ended up incorporating parts of that journal in it.
BOYT: When a person comes to you and doesn't realize that a lot of their current illness and heartache is a result of their past and the traumatic events they've experienced, how do you begin to help them heal? If someone comes to you and finds it difficult to really start to peel away the layers and get to the bottom of things, what are the steps?
Deborah King: Well I'm trained to do that, so the first thing I do is find key points. It's not necessarily what the individual thinks is their main issue. Lots of times people will come to me and they'll complain about a physical problem, they'll say, "I have all these digestive issues and I don't know what to do about it, I don't know what's causing them", and I'll track it to something old and deep, and it's always an emotion that they haven't really processed. So that's where I start with people. It's clearing those old emotions. I encourage people to do it on their own at home. There are so many ways we can do that – we can meditate, we can journal, see counselors. For lots of people, interacting with nature helps them clear their emotional body. They take walks or go swimming or walk on the beach. There are so many ways to do it and you don't want to just sit on your emotions and swallow them.
BOYT: For a lot of people it's very difficult. They're not as conscious as you are, and they think to themselves, " I have this illness and this illness is causing my pain." How do you explain to them that the illness is caused by something emotional they're holding within their body?
Deborah King: I'm hoping that's what Truth Heals accomplishes, and I'm hoping that it walks them through it step by step. I do it, hopefully, two different ways. One is starting with the body. Each chapter is devoted to an aspect of the human body, chakra by chakra. The chakra system starts at your sacrum and goes to the top of your head, so it pretty much covers every aspect of the human body. There isn't a person out there that doesn't have some problem – they might have trouble with the knee, or they've got a trick elbow – no matter how old or young we are, we've got some issue. So I help people to track their emotional problems by coming from their body to their emotions. Or vice versa, I help them the other way around, from their emotions to their body, so they see the connection. Also I use celebrities to illustrate my point. Originally, in my first draft of that book, I only used case histories, and then I looked at it and I thought, "Uh, I don't know how much people relate anymore to case histories." I thought, well what do people relate to? It dawned on me that most of us relate through, let's face it, talk shows like Oprah or magazines like People. That's really how we relate to one another, and so I decided to get on that channel and I used celebrities to illustrate my point. So I would say, "Well, if you're having problems with a closed heart or heartbreak, that's what happened to President Clinton." Everybody can relate to President Clinton and the experiences he had of losing the love of the country and saying it was the fast food that caused his heart problems; but in fact, it was probably more so the emotional problems he had that affected his cardiovascular health so negatively.
BOYT: Was there a specific moment writing your book when you realized how much your past experiences had impacted how your life was presently?
Deborah King: Yeah, the moment that I realized that was the moment I realized I had cancer. A huge wake-up call. I wasn't prepared to deal with any of these things, I was just going to go charging right on with my life, and I was very interested in making my mark as an attorney in the corporate world. I was fast and furious, pedal to the metal, and then that one thing just brought me to a complete halt, and I thought, "Well, I've been pushing things under the rug for years.” I’d had other medical problems and emotional problems and was band-aiding them with drugs and alcohol, like so many do, and I thought, "Yikes, maybe I better stop here before I die." I was only 25, I came to a complete stop, and spent at least a year doing nothing except self-reflecting and trying to get to the bottom of it, and cleaning myself up. I got rid of all my addictive behavior, started meditating and I really started to dig.
BOYT: After a person has begun to do the healing within and really come to terms with their past, whether that be through therapy or energy healing, it is possible to move on? I feel like some people are able to accept what's happened to them, and they find forgiveness without necessarily an apology from the person who has caused them emotional or physical trauma.
Deborah King: Oh yeah, forget the person that's caused you the trauma. Don't look for an apology from them, anymore than in any other area of your life where you've had real relationship problem of some sort. Healing has to be all about you. If you've also been in any 12-step program, for overeating or whatever, that's one of the first tenets that they teach; look within, it's all about yourself. You want to send forgiveness to anyone who's seriously impacted your own life, because it's going to hurt you and not them if you stay bitter and in a state of resentment. So you want to send forgiveness, but that doesn't mean that you are going to be friends with them, or going to be talking to them, or going to have a continuing relationship with them – that's not necessary. Nor is confrontation of any kind of a solution. Now, once in a while, confronting is helpful to take the person to the next level of clarity. Often in the case of abuse, for example, I'm sure that something like 30% or 40% of people will elect to confront; I did, and that was very healing for me. But it's not like anybody said, "Oh, we're so sorry that happened", or "Oh yeah, we acknowledge that happened"; that's not what I heard at all, nor does anyone else I know.
BOYT: You were so open about the experiences with your family. What was the healing process after you confronted them?
Deborah King: Well, it was just so self-empowering. If we're going to talk about sexual abuse, sexual abuse is always about power and rarely about sex; the whole point is to disempower the person being abused. Confrontation re-empowers you, puts you back in the driver's seat. That's precisely why I did it and why, on occasion, I will suggest to someone they might consider it, but it's a very individual choice. Sometimes there's too much danger or fear involved, and it's not a good idea. So again, that's another one of those individual things.
BOYT: Once a person has gone through the healing process, has really came to grips with what's happened and figured out ways to heal themselves, do you feel that they can continue to have a relationship with the person who's done any type of abusing?
Deborah King: That's another one of those individual questions, case by case. I work exclusively with individuals, so the way I work is either I'll see a lot of people, 150 or 200 people in a day who come to me one after another in a line; or I work on a stage and audience volunteers come up to the stage to work with me. I never generalize because there is no such thing as a general person; every person is unique, not only unique overall, but they're unique today. So your energy fields are going to look different today than they did yesterday, and they will look different today than they will tomorrow. I'm working with you right in this moment, with the problems and the energy fields and the body you have right at this moment, and the idea is to help take you to the next level, and whatever transformation is best for you. I don't listen to your personality so much to tell me what you think you need. What I do is, I try to get on the channel where I'm hearing what your higher self wants, because your higher self – and everyone has those qualities – really knows what's best for you, and knows where you really want to go, even if you're not consciously aware of it.
BOYT: Do you feel that the ego has any play in healing? You hear so much about ego through Eckhart Tolle, I feel like sometimes when someone is about to confront someone their ego stops them.
Deborah King: It depends on how you're using the word. Ego is probably being maligned more. I mean, we have to have an ego. If you're talking about self-esteem and a sense of self, we need that to power us to move forward.
BOYT: If someone is overcome by fear at the thought of the confrontation, what first step would you recommend?
Deborah King: I would suggest working with someone like myself or someone in the counseling field. No one wants to stay frozen, so I would say get some help, get some professional help.
BOYT: Do you feel everyone could benefit from an energy healing?
Deborah King: Probably. The work I do, I'm more inclined to describe it as energy medicine, which has a little different slant to it.
BOYT: Can you elaborate on energy medicine? What do you mean exactly, with that versus healing hands?
Deborah King: Well, healing hands is probably a facet of energy medicine, and acupuncture is too. Energy medicine is a broader term that encompasses perhaps twenty different modalities. I'm just really careful in this particular arena because, frankly, there are a lot of unqualified people.
BOYT: I’ve been doing inner work on myself for many, many years, and I've come across people that should not be practicing, and people I feel are exceptional at what they do. What are some of the qualities you would look for when you're doing session work for a therapist?
Deborah King: Oh that's a really interesting question, I don't think I've been asked that in quite a while. I would probably say the first quality to look for would be lack of ego. That’s the biggest red flag I see with a practitioner; they want to look better. In other words, they need something from the session when they should just be there for you. If you ever sense that anyone you're working with, from your chiropractor or your acupuncturist to any field, if you ever sense they're coming from that place, then find someone new. That would be the first moment I would move on.
BOYT: The more successful they become, the bigger their ego gets.
Deborah King: That's true, yeah. Hopefully, your person in energy medicine is doing just the opposite – the bigger they become, the more humble they're getting. If not, they're very dangerous because power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. This is the biggest danger in my field, and I'm constantly reminding myself of it every day. I got very concerned about it last year when I did a lot of TV – I did over 100 TV interviews in about a year and a half – and there is nothing that pumps up the ego like television. I was really concerned about it for myself; I knew I needed to be really careful.
BOYT: How do you remain grounded? You’ve been very successful and your book's fantastic. How do you personally remain grounded and really attached to your purpose and your calling?
Deborah King: Oh, I don't have any problems staying attached to my purpose. I always think of grounded in another sense; when I say grounded, I'm always meaning connected to Mother Earth, which is really hard for me because I'm traveling twenty-eight out of every thirty days, flying about every third day. It makes it really hard to stay grounded. I'm in a different city right now today than I was yesterday. Most of the time when I wake up, I'm not sure where I am. So I have to do some practices.
BOYT: You’re going to be coming to San Diego for the "I Can Do It" seminars, and there are always so many wonderful speakers there. I'm just curious, who is someone that you look up to, who inspires you, and why?
Deborah King: Oh, another good question. Who I think does really good work is Neale Donald Walsch, the author of Conversations with God. I think his work is very legitimate. And I like Wayne Dyer, he’s pretty straightforward.
BOYT: Why is it from all the authors you picked those two? Is there a quality that they both have?
Deborah King: No, they're actually pretty different. I think that Neale Donald Walsch is skilled at helping people affect transformation and Wayne Dyer is very skilled at communication, at telling simple stories that people relate to; they get something from it.
BOYT: What has been the most positive experience you've had since writing Truth Heals, whether that be feedback you've gotten from readers or just an experience that's come since Truth Heals has launched.
Deborah King: Well, there have been so many positive experiences. It became a national best seller just the second week out, that was a pretty positive experience. I think that all of the speaking that it brought me has been great. I already like working with the public, I've been doing that for a number of years, but the book just pushed it up to a whole other level. I've really enjoyed that, because the more people I reach, the happier I am. It's so simple, I mean, I had such a troubled life until I had a cancer call – such a great wake-up call for so many people, not just me – and it turned my whole life around. I just want to give all of the things that I've learned about how to turn your life around since then to others so they can too, because life is short and it's meant to be enjoyed.
BOYT: I think people look at authors and successful people and feel like they live this perfect life; and by reading your book, you understand everybody has their lessons in life and they're going through their learning process no matter what it looks like from the outside.
Deborah King: Exactly, and that's why we're here. We're incarnate, we decide to come here to succeed at certain things that, so far, as a soul we haven't quite accomplished, whatever it is – to learn to love, or to learn to forgive, or to learn to be humble. I actually think that's why I'm here this time around – seriously. We should welcome every challenge that comes our way, every challenging relationship, because we've selected them, and we should just go, "Okay, all right, another challenge, I'm going to rise to this one." It’s such an old phrase, but really the whole point is to make lemonade out of those lemons.
BOYT: I agree, it's just an experience to learn from. Knowing what you know today, what advice would you offer to your 20-year-old self?
Deborah King: I don't think I would have done anything differently, because if I'd been less adventuresome, I think I might have missed some of these high points. So I don't think I'd do anything differently. The main thing I urge people to do is take action. I have a program where I teach the work I do, it's called "The 21st Century Energy Medicine Program” – if you're curious about it, just go on my home page and you just click on a link there and it'll tell you all about it –but it's a one year world transforming program for anyone who wants to transform their life. The way it works is you get a download every Sunday night, the subject matter of all the materials for the week, and audio, and written material, and activity and questions, the whole thing; and then once a month, we all get together in a big tele-seminar, where I teach a meditation and how to disconnect cords that we don't want that we have between ourselves and other people, and all different kinds of influences, Chivanik and Tibetan, and some Christian too, techniques from all over the map. One of the things I built into my program is an electronic calendar. I ask people to once a day display their calendar on their computer and check off if they meditated, exercised, journaled, or got some self-care, which could be for one person a manicure, and for somebody else a facial, and for someone else a therapy session, whatever means you're taking care of yourself. I say to people, "This is the key to life, it’s taking action.” A calendar helps you to keep track of how much action you’re taking, because that's where we fall apart. Then at the end of the month, you look back and you go, well, no wonder I didn't get that new job or lose weight or improve my relationship with my partner – I didn't take action. So the proof's in the pudding.
BOYT: I think the calendar is great. Some days, people take action and some days they forget. Life gets so hectic, and they just put themselves last.
Deborah King: All my life, I've kept a calendar like that, and I thought to myself, "I feel good because I meditated, but wow, I'm not as in shape as I want to be because I'm not exercising.” I have always kept track. I think that the great failure of The Secret is it doesn't promote enough action. You could visualize until the cows come home, but if you're not taking action, nothing's going to happen. There are solid parts to The Secret, but it is too passive.
BOYT: What's next for you? What's next in the pipeline?
Deborah King: I have another book coming out, and it'll be out next spring, a year from now. I'm very excited about it. If you think this one was candid, wait until you read the next one. I went a lot deeper.
BOYT: We really appreciate that. The reason we do these interviews is because we really want to have those true, honest conversations with people to strip away the layers and really get to their passions. It’s exciting. I can't wait to read something that's more candid than Truth Heals.
Deborah King: Well, I think I was able to actually decipher what it is I did that made my life change. This book is written for the mainstream, it's much more mainstream than Truth Heals. It's also a much better book. Truth Heals was my first book, and I'm proud of it, but you know, all-in-all I wasn't a writer and it was the first thing I'd written. The only writing I’d before Truth Heals was as a lawyer. I'd written a lot of lawyer letters and law briefs, nothing that's very palatable to read. I'm very proud of the second book that's coming out, and I'm really excited about it.
BOYT: Will that be available on your website, or where would our readers be able to get that?
Deborah King: It'll be sold on Amazon and book stores nationwide, but it's just been turned over to the publisher.
BOYT: Lastly, is there something you can share that might surprise your readers and our fans and our audience?
Deborah King: Really, the only irregularity in my perfect existence happened when I went out on a book tour last winter and spring. I did sixty-five cities, did television every morning, and worked with the public every night. Honestly, I don't know where I got the idea I could maintain that pace. So it was a little too much, and if you've read my book, Truth Heals, you know that I've got quite an addictive background; it's been more than twenty-five years and I've been clean as a whistle. So I get out on this road tour and I decide after I'd been out there a few weeks that chocolate would help. Well, I hadn't had chocolate in thirty years, because it's somewhat drug-like, you know, especially in large quantities. And I thought, “Chocolate's okay, it's not a problem for me, I can have a little piece here and there.” After about two weeks of that, the day that I found I was hiding my chocolate stash in my make-up case so I could have some in the middle of the night without my husband knowing, I realized I had just a little bit of a problem.
BOYT: You had tipped overboard.
Deborah King: Yeah, like with everything. So I had to X the chocolate off my schedule.
About Deborah King
Master healer and teacher Deborah King was a successful attorney in her 20s when a diagnosis of cancer sent her on a search for truth that radically changed her life. Unwilling to undergo invasive surgery, she turned to alternative medicine and had an amazing remission at the hands of a healer. Along the way, she conquered the alcohol and drug addictions she had used to bury an abusive childhood. Leaving the corporate arena for the mysterious world of healers, sages, and shamans, Deborah mastered ancient and modern healing systems, ultimately developing a powerful healing technique of her own. To learn more about Deborah King, click here to visit her website.