Forget About the One-Size-Fits-All Approach to Fitness and Weight Loss
BOYT: What inspired you to write Stress Less, Weigh Less?
Holly Mosier: When I was 39 or 40 years old, like many women, I hit my wall. I was a lawyer, a mother, a stepmother who tried to blend a family under tremendous stress from all angles. When my hormones started to change, that was the last straw that broke the “camel’s back.” I was gaining weight and losing energy. Beyond that, I was terribly stressed. I became depressed because I felt at complete loss with how to deal with these problems. First, I went through the medical community to make sure I was physically okay. I was sure that I had at least a thyroid problem, chronic fatigue, and was anemic. Lo and behold; all my medical tests came out perfectly fine. You would think that would be happy news, but it wasn’t, because I was left thinking about what should I do. I thought this was what middle-age and old-age is, and that scared me.
I was a medical malpractice attorney. I turned my focus completely to the medical studies. I just went directly to the studies that addressed the symptoms I was having: tremendous fatigue, huge appetite, weight gain (even though I was still working out), and energy level decreases by late afternoon. That was how I addressed it, and I found my symptoms to be very similar to untreated diabetes. Of course, I was not diabetic. So, first off, I started looking at the stress; why does stress caused us to undergo terrible changes? I found out that it was the accumulation of stress. It wasn’t one big event. It wasn’t a series or a couple of events. It turned out that stress, itself, is cumulative.
Stress and stress hormones affect our blood sugar levels. Stress also impacts our appetite. When I learned that, I thought I should address the stress first. That’s what I did. I’ve found ways to deal with my stress that fit in average Western lifestyles because I couldn’t step out of the role I was playing. After I had stress under control, lo and behold, my appetite returned to normal because stress hormones cause increased cravings for high fat, high sugar, and high sodium foods. Without these cravings all of the time, I found out it was much easier to modify the way I was eating.
Next, I researched how proteins, carbs, and fats affect our appetites, energy, and weight. I found out that I was unbalanced in my eating. I was really carb-heavy, even though these carbs (high fiber, potatoes, rice, wholegrain pastas, and more) were considered good carbs. I found that it was not really the best way for me to be eating anymore. I needed to blend in more proteins and add more fats back into my diet. We need about 25% of fats in our diets to be able to assimilateour vitamins and remain satiated. When I was done balancing that, the exercising part was simple. I had so much energy that moving every day was not a problem. It actually became a joy. That of course kicked in more endorphins.
This became a holistic way of living for me very quickly. It affected not just my weight, but my entire life. It was really a mind-body transformation in a way that I could not have anticipated. Other people started to notice because the transformation was pretty dramatic. Here I am today at 50 and I never felt better. I feel like I’ve never looked better, but I’ve never been happier and more satisfied with life. It is a very exciting way to live. I am thrilled to share this with other people because it’s much easier than what people think.
BOYT: In terms of hormones, how did your cravings start to dwindle and become manageable?
Holly Mosier: Two things. I was craving less starchy foods. That was a surprise to me because I was a starch fiend my entire life. I had a sweet tooth. I still have a sweet tooth, but now it’s more manageable. I can have sweets once a week now, instead of really battling with the cravings every day or multiple times during the day. Balancing that way I ate with proteins, carbs, and fats helped a lot. More importantly, I was able to reduce the stress first, because the stress exacerbated everything from the hormonal ups and downs to the cravings.
There were not a lot of studies on this subject when I first started to study this. Now, more studies have been published that show that stress levels exacerbate perimenopausal and menopausal symptoms. I certainly experienced that. I was in full perimenopause by age 40, which was earlier than many. My gynecologist believed that it was because I had a high-stress job and a high-stress personal life with a blended family. We now know that this is true. High stress can trigger earlier perimenopause, but also more intense symptoms. Once I started to manage the stress in ways that I could, that immediately started to deal with hot flashes, night sweats, increase of appetite, and more. But I would say dealing with the stress first, before I changed the way I was eating, was the most critical thing I ever did.
I should jump right now into telling people about opting out. It’s in my book on page 21. Opting out is the foundational tool. I have a lot of stress management tools in the book. Opting out is when you have to get your schedule a bit more under control. I’m not talking about cutting everything out because it’s not going to happen for people like us, nor do we want it to. We want a busy life, just not an overwhelming life. We want to enjoy the things that we’re doing. We’re supposed to enjoy our lives. I just found that I wasn’t. I was showing up out of breath and depleted to every obligation and everything that I was committed to. This is no way to go through life. But because the culture encouraged it, I didn’t realize it.
Opting out is simply starting to look at what you commit to. It’s about taking a few breaths before you commit to anything. Look at it and ask yourself if you have reasonable time for it. Secondly, ask yourself what you can bring to it and if it fulfills you. Even if those things fit my requirements, to the extent that I could, I started saying no. That does not make you a popular person, but it does make you a healthy person, able to be present each moment. The things I did commit to, I showed up excited, enthusiastic, creative, and full of energy. I found out I was a bigger asset to myself and others. Then it became easier to opt out. That’s why I tell everyone that’s your foundational tool.
BOYT: What is a typical day for you? What are your tools to balance out your life?
Holly Mosier: I’m not actively practicing law anymore. I am promoting the book full time. We also own an LA Boxing gym in Lake Forest, California. That requires a fair amount of our time. It’s a huge commitment in addition to having a family. We also have a blend family with kids from all different age groups. I have a husband who is very much of a guy’s guy. He likes to eat potatoes. The kids and I all eat different things. With myself, I need to maintain my balance at all cost. Here is how I do it:
The first thing I do when I open my eyes is to focus on my breathing. The quality of your breath directly matches the quality of your state of calm or lack thereof. It sets a pattern for me for the entire day. I have found that whatever I do first thing in the morning determines the whole quality of my day. I focus on my breath. I get up. I drink some warm water.
Then I do meditation. The way I meditate is shown in my book. It’s a simple process. I think people have a view of meditation that may prevent them from even being willing to try it. But basically, meditation is just a single focus on one thing. So I sit in my bed in my special spot and I start with my 4-count breath. The 4-count breath is just drawing the breath inthrough the nose to the count of 4 and slowly exhaling to the count of 4. This breathing technique alone starts to slow everything down. I just ponder some inspirational thought. It could be about something I just read that morning. You can focus on a flower, a sound, just anything. But I’m looking to reach a state of serenity before I ever leave my bedroom. This happens for me very quickly now because I’ve been doing it for so many years. It takes about 10 to 15 minutes. Just like toning a muscle; if I lift that 5-pound weight every day, I’m going to tone that muscle within a month or so. It’s the same thing with meditation. The more I practice my 4-count breathing and meditation, the easier it is for me to find that state of serenity and equanimity. After that, I usually walk out to get my day started.
If I can get my cardio first thing in the morning, I would like to do it. I think cardio is necessary for all-over fitness. Of course, I box. I do yoga. Cardio is most important for your health and weight control. Sometimes I jump on my bicycle or go take a class. I usually start my day after that. Sometimes I do my 4-count breathing throughout my day. If I can do it, then anyone can do it. No one even needs to know you’re doing it. It reminds me to stay calm. It also helps me to maintain that state of serenity all day. This determines my level of stress or lack thereof. That impacts my appetite, my energy level and keeps my day going very smoothly. I cook most nights. I make recipes with five ingredients or less. I like to eat healthy and I like to cook food quickly. That pretty much wraps up my day.
BOYT: Do you find that there are common weight-loss traps that both women and men fall into? And what can be done to break these patterns?
Holly Mosier: Typically, I hear from people that they need to eat every 2-3 hours. Eating 5-6 meals a day has become a necessary step for weight loss in the public’s mind. I have not found this to be true. I have found that if you eat according to your natural appetite patterns, you’re much more likely to experience successful weight-loss, and you’ll be happier. I’m the person that needs to get full. For me, grazing all day is not effective. In fact, when I tried that, I did nothing but gain weight. However, it works for my husband. I need three square meals a day and a snack. That maintains my weight very easily. It’s a very easy way for me to eat because it matches my natural appetite patterns.
Here is a second thing you hear: “We shouldn’t eat after 6PM.” For me, I’m really hungry at night. I eat a big dinner every night around 7:30 or 8:00PM. That’s where I get the majority of my calories. I get about 1800 calories every day and I get about 800-900 calories at night in the form of my dinner. That’s absolutely fine for me. It helps me maintain my weight because, again, it follows my natural appetite patterns. I haven’t found any magic in eating after 6PM, nor do I find it bad, as long as I stay within my daily calorie allotment. I also do exercise every day.
I also hear that a lot of people eat oatmeal for breakfast. Of course, I’d tried it. It didn’t work for me at all. In fact, it made me hungrier throughout the day. It also tanks my energy levels. It sets up cravings for starch all day. I do not do that. I tell people that they need to balance the proteins, the carbs, and the fats in your breakfasts. Studies have shown that people who eat eggs in the morning tend to weigh less. On days that I don’t have eggs, I’ll have cottage cheese. It’s low fat, 2% cottage cheese with a half teaspoon of cinnamon and some splenda. I mixed it up with a little bit of honey and a few raisins. It tastes awesome! It keeps you full because you’re balancing your proteins, carbs and fats. It doesn’t set you up to be hungry later on in the day. That’s what I do. People are really shocked how their appetites or energy levels change just by changing the way they eat breakfast.
Just remember, not everyone’s body is the same!
BOYT: What are you go-to foods or snacks if you need a boost of energy?
Holly Mosier: I really like low-fat cottage cheese because it’s not heavy. It has the perfect balance of proteins, carbs, and fats. If you add some cinnamon to it, it does a tremendous job of keeping your appetite at bay. I’ll even add it to potatoes. As far as snacks go, I’ll have a piece of fruit like an apple or a pear. This will boost my energy up for the rest of the day. I’m not a big fan of protein drinks because they don’t keep me full. A lot of time, people think that they should have a protein drink just because they’re working out. It can be very high-calorie and you don’t feel satisfied if you have it as a meal replacement. If it works for you, then it’s fine. You have to learn from other people’s suggestions and experiment to see what works best for you. It’s important to stop beating ourselves up if we don’t fit into these specific categories.
BOYT: What suggestions do you have to help someone stay consistent on their journey to a healthy lifestyle?
Holly Mosier: The first thing I would do is to balance my mind’s and body’s needs. We’re not just physical beings. There is an invisible part of us that gets ignored in our culture. That’s what creates the stress. If you really look at stress, it’s internal resistance to something we perceive that is happening out here. The reason we’re always stressed out is because we’re not feeding our emotional, mental and spiritual needs. That is what stress management does. Stress management is a more clinical way of saying, “I’m going to take care of myself internally first”—because the external truly is a reflection of what’s going on internally.
You are not going to be able to take control of your body, and wrangle it into the shape that you want without addressing your internal needs, and keep those results in your body. I’ve never seen anyone do it. That’s why someone can torture themselves on diet fads. If you cut your calories, you will lose weight. But it’s the maintenance of that weight-loss that everyone trips up. It’s because you’ve become very unbalanced after those very harsh approaches. I know they’re quick, but they’re not affective in the long term.
What I was after was a completely happy life in all arenas. I found that we can have it if we address the balance in our minds and bodies. There’s nothing wrong with ten minutes a morning to do some deep breathing to establish peace within yourself before your day starts. The second thing is to do your best that day.
BOYT: Who has been an inspiration for you in your journey?
Holly Mosier: My grandmother, who is 108 years old, inspired me very much in this way. She’s a Southern lady. She grew up in North Carolina. Her generation was not into fitness, but she was very much into managing her happiness. I didn’t realize that until I was much older. In my early 40s, it was quite tough for me as I was trying to blend in our families. I felt completely depleted and depressed. That’s when I started to understand what she was doing her entire life. I had the chance to talk to her. It was awesome. She suffered through the loss of her son, death of her husband, two World Wars, two battles with breast cancer in her 60s, and three near-death heart attacks. She didn’t have an easy life, but she was always a very peaceful and happy woman. I learned that there is tremendous power in our points of view; we have 100% control over that. When I started to really take that to heart, everything in my life—my relationships, my productivity, my business and everyone around me—started to change for the better.
About Holly Moiser
Healthy lifestyle expert, Holly Mosier, is the acclaimed author of Stress Less, Weigh Less, a unique manual combining well-researched nutrition and exercise approaches with time-tested stress management tools. The most permanent weight loss blueprint on the market, Stress Less, Weigh Less is the culmination of Holly’s lifelong passion to find the weight loss and exercise techniques that would give her the body she desired and the inner peace that comes from living a less stressful life.